Through His Eyes
It's a dog's life.
If you’re just joining For Stitch & Giggles, I’d love for you to read my postpartum story. Here’s Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4. I write this newsletter for pregnant and postpartum moms everywhere. You’re not alone.
The Early Years…From His Perspective
The first years were perfect for me. My hoomans were always around. Hooman 1 came home to see me every day at lunch. To let me out. To give me cuddles and pets. Hooman 2 was gone all day. But she always came back. And I got more pets.
We spent every evening together. The three of us. Curled up on the couch. My hoomans watched the flashy thing, and I slept between them on the couch. They gave me three beds. One in all the important rooms. I had my lovies. My stuffies. I eats them. But I luvs them.
Hooman 2 took me on good walkies. She was always awake first. Gave me my cookies. Opened the door so I could jump on Hooman 1 and wake him up. And I gots more pets.
When I was only 1, they put me in the big vroom vroom with all our things, and we moved across town. And I got a yard. And neighborhood woof woof friends. And all the squirrels to bark at.
My life was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
The Change
My hoomans love each other. And they love me. They are my whole world. And I was theirs.
Until the change.
I knew. Her scent changed. All at once. So different. I never smelled anything like that before.
Human 2 not know. Not even when smelly bleed bleed didn’t come. But I knew.
I stayed right by her side. I did not know why. But I knew I must. I slept right by her side of the bed. Followed her to the bathroom. Protected her while she worked in the office.
She did not like it. When she tripped over me in the night, she was angry. She did not know.
But I knew. Before they ever did. And then they were so surprised. Very surprised. I was not surprised.
Hooman 2 grew funny. Different. Big belly. She still took me on walkies. But she was grumpy. Told me not to pull. She woke me up all night long to go to the flush flush. I so tired. She so tired.
But I stay by her side.
The First Interruption
Hoomans left me. Grand-hoomans came and take care of me. But I miss my hoomans. Then, they came home! I so excited. I wanted to jump, but they tell me no. They tell me to be sweet. I always sweet. Then, I smelled something… very new. Strange. Kind of like Hooman 2. Kind of sterile and cold. Kind of sweet and earthy.
Him.
I do not like this new thing. It screamed. My ears hurt. I hides. Hooman 1 and 2 don’t see me. No pets. No cuddles. No walkies. Just loud. For a long time. So loud.
When it grows, it pulls. Pulls my hair. Hits my face. Jumps on my back. I runs. Hides. Hoomans try to keep it from hurting me. But it happens a lot. I am afraid of it.
Of him.
My world is different. They spend all their time with him. They hold him. Cuddle him. Talk to him. Play with him. He grows, and they cheer. I grow older. And they don’t notice. All my toys disappear. Replaced by everything for him. My beds become his jungle gym.
I never growl. I want to, but Hooman 2 would be so upset. I endure it all.
Nothing is the same. I miss the quiet days. When it was just the three of us. When I got cuddles. Walkies. Pets. When I was the only one jumping on Hooman 1 to wake him up, and not competing with a little squealing Hooman 3.
That’s what it is. I finally realize. It’s a Hooman 3.
The Second Interruption
My muzzle gets a little more gray. I learn to endure Hooman 3. Most of the time, I hides from him. He starts learning to throw my ball. I don’t want to play with him. But Hooman 1 wants me to. And I do anything for Hooman 1.
Hooman 2 takes me on walkies with Hooman 3 in the wheely thing. I like the wheely thing. Wheely thing means I go on more walkies. When Hooman 3 too big for wheely thing, we all go on walkies. And it’s nice again.
Hooman 3 goes to bed early. My hoomans sit with me on the couch and watch the flashy thing. I sleep between them. Sometimes, it feels like it was before.
But then, her scent changes.
Hooman 2 has been sad for a while. She buys lots of little white sticks and marks her territory on them. Then she cries. I don’t know why.
But I know. Of course I know. Her scent changes one day, and she didn’t know. But I know. I sleeps by her side of the bed. Follow her to the bathroom. Wait by the door for her to get home. I protect her.
She watches me. Notices my attention to her.
“Could it be, Murray?” She asks me. I do not understand her words, but she takes another white stick to the flush flush.
My hoomans are so happy. She gives me pets. Cuddles. Kisses. They cry. Hooman 3 does not understand. But I know better this time.
And my muzzle gets more gray as I prepare.
The Aversion
I no understand. Hooman 2 suddenly stops petting me. Stops cuddling me. I ask for pets, and she yells at me. If I go near her, she gets angry. She tells Hooman 1 I stinks. If I licks, she gets angry. If I sleep on the ground, she said I get in her way.
Hooman 1 tells me to stay with him. To keep away from her. Hooman 2 has a “pet aversion.” I not know what that means. She tells Hooman 1 that she wants to find a “new home” for me. I not know what that means. But Hooman 1 said no. Never.
He keeps me away from her. But I miss my Hooman 2. I miss her pets and her walkies. She stays away from me. She’s always angry with me. Only Hooman 1 gives me pets or cuddles. Hooman 2 goes on walkies, but she doesn’t take me.
I no understand. Hooman 1 tells me…tells himself…that things will get better. So I wait like a good boy.
Her
My hoomans go away. They leave Hooman 3 with the grand-hoomans. I likes the grand-hoomans. They gives me pets and cuddles and extra cookies. We have a good few days.
Then, my hoomans get home. I know the smell immediately. It was like his smell. But it’s a little new. A little different.
It’s a female. I know from her scent. She smells like Hooman 2. And I likes her smell.
Hooman 2 hugs me. She pets me again. She tells me sorry. That she loves me. She tells me that she doesn’t hate me.
I am happy again.
The new loud little hooman smells nice. I like to sniff her. I keep watch when she sleeps. I get worried when she cries.
My Hooman 2 stays home with me and the new one. I like having her home. But my Hooman 2 cries all day. She takes me on walkies, but we walk really slow with the wheely thing. Sometimes, we sit on the deck outside, and she just stares ahead with tears running down her face. I put my head in her lap. Sometimes, she cries into my fur.
At night, she paces the dark house and wakes me up. Sometimes with the baby, sometimes just her. I follow her into the guest bedroom and sit with her on the bed. No matter what. I stays with her. I stays with her when she cries. I stays with her when we do slow walkies. I forgive her for the bad days when she had the round belly. I always there. No matter what.
Until she starts smiling again.
When Hooman 4 giggles, I wag my tail. When Hooman 4 cries, I hide. When Hooman 4 sleeps, I keep watch.
Hooman 4 reminds me of Hooman 2. I takes care of them both.
My face has gone gray now. I don’t run like I used to. But I am always gentle with the littles. Because they are my hoomans. My small hoomans love me. I will always be their dog. Their best memories will be with me. They will always talk about the dog they grew up with. I luvs my hoomans, even the littles that hurt me.
Because I a good dog.
Note From Hooman 2
Pet aversion during pregnancy and even postpartum is a real thing. I’m so glad I didn’t give in to my pregnancy impulses and give Murray away. It’s crazy to think I ever had those thoughts. And it’s 100% true. Murray knew I was pregnant both times before we did. We are very grateful for our Murray dog. He’s a good boy. And yep, I cried writing this. And then hugged him and cried into his fur. <3
Postpartum support resources
Important note: I am not a licensed therapist. My experiences are lived experiences and not intended to be taken as medical or psychiatric advice. If you are in a crisis, call 988, the national suicide hotline. If you are not in a crisis, but need timely support, call or text 1-833-852-6262, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline.
Other resources:
Postpartum Support International (PSI)
This made me cry!!! I love love love my dog and that love looks different now than when we first got her, but I can't imagine my life without her
I saved this to read later because I was excited about this topic - I just love my dog and love how you framed it from his perspective. I feel so sad for how their life changes once we get busy with kids. I tell myself atleast I’m
Home more, but it’s still hard when you miss them ❤️ Murray is beautiful and loyal.